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Brandeis University's Community Newspaper — Waltham, Mass.

I hate you thugs

Published: March 24, 2006
Section: Arts, Etc.

The oversized pants with rear pockets
reaching the armpits of the legs
Big shirts
and hooded sweatshirts
With a cap to top it off.

And should fortune strike them
A white Cadillac Escalade
with spinning silver rims
and a sound system
in case you miss dem
to boast their considerable contribution to widespread skin cancer
Thank you OPEC for teaching them.

Why do they think its cool to frown?
Since when is looking unfriendly admirable?

Punks – think that we all tremble when youre near?
You pretend not to care
but yet appear
without clash
perfectly assembled
like a gourmet fruit platter

Everything you own is amplified
and music

Except your bicycles
which seem made for midgets
sorry, little people
Why do you choose to parade around on mini bikes?
Dont you realize that your appearance becomes a paradox?

Stare back at the fools
that will teach em
that loud bases sound like shit,
Im the one thats legit!

But then comes my first sad realization –
Sweatpants and sandals
are no greater
They are equal,
and ambiguous,
Picked from an array of wide decision
and then hand picked from my private folded stash

And then the second –
That my old Honda Accord which failed inspection
does also devastate the big O in the sky

And then the third –
I crave attention
as they do
and hope to be noticed
Perhaps theyre even more true than I
by letting everyone know it

They look at me with the same
judgemental eyes
that Im a slob
who worships the dude
and the coen brothers

That I dont know what hot is
That classic rock is dieing
hip hop is whats in style
Maybe its time we shook hands
After all
The dude abides

Then again
why make peace with those that
judge me
And those that ride
those little god damn bikes.