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Brandeis University's Community Newspaper — Waltham, Mass.

APRIL FOOLS: Editorial: Campus beautification project not consistent with universitys social justice values

Published: March 31, 2006
Section: Opinions

Recent initiatives taken to re-sod, re-mulch, and plant the campus have incited Brandeis groups to express their concerns. The community should consider the following issues and respond to them as necessary.

FMLA: Not enough of the planters are female. FMLA is staging a protest, citing the use of words such as foreman and shovel as politically incorrect, and requesting PC-equivalent terms such as forewoman and shovelette.

College Republicans: Suggesting that workers are heavily democratic, the republicans seek a diversification of mindset. Additionally, the republicans seek a competitive pay cut for landscapers. A silent protest will be staged outside of a grassing event at Shapiro Campus Center tomorrow.

Fair Trade Brigade: Concerned with the use of free-trade seed, the FTB demands a campus-wide conversion to fair trade grass. Its not that much to ask.

Radical Student Alliance: the RSA also has concerns about the quality and function of the currently planted grass.

Pirate Club: Aarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. Mutiny at 5PM in Usdan Caf. BYOPL (Bring your own pegleg).

Brandeis Labor Coalition: The BLC requests that seasonal landscapers be paid for full-year work. Mark Collins could not be reached for comment.

Mulch club: Considering the greater service they provide for campus, the mulch club demands secured funding. Note: as of publishing, the mulch club has not been charted.