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You Know We’re Right: Roommate resolutions: steps to super suitemate success!

Published: September 16, 2011
Section: Features


Dear Leah and Morgan,

I know that the year just started, but I’m already having some problems with my suitemates.

I have lived in traditional dorm-style housing for the past two years, in a double and then a single.

While I’ve always enjoyed my housing arrangement, I’ve been jealous of my friends in Rosenthal and Ziv who got to live in a suite with all of their friends. Luckily, this year, I was pulled into a Ridgewood with three of my best friends and two people who I don’t know, but my friends are super close with them.

I had my initial reservations about living with people I didn’t know, but my friends quickly assured me that it would be fine and convinced me not to worry about it.

I went into this year with an open mind, but now I just feel like everything is falling apart.

I can’t help but feel really isolated from my suitemates. They all have classes and activities together. They always seem to be coming from or going to a meal or meeting for discussion section together, laughing about some inside joke that I don’t get!

I know that they’re not doing this on purpose, but I can’t help but be a little bit upset.

I’ve never had any problems with roommates or housing situations before; I feel completely unprepared to deal with this!

Love,

The Odd One Out

Dear Odd One,

It’s always difficult to transition into a new living situation, especially one that includes living with more that just one or two roommates.

The first thing to do is to start a conversation with your suitemates—if they don’t know how you feel, they won’t know to change their actions and the situation will continue unchecked.

With that said, we understand how hard it can be to confront your friends, especially if you’re living with them. Dragging out this type of problem will only prolong your suffering and drive you crazy!

We have a few ideas for how you can fix your problem and realize your dream of suitemate success.

Don’t Triangulate

Confrontation can be difficult and sometimes it is tempting not to talk to your suitemates directly, but to talk and complain to mutual friends about your problem.

While this free therapy can be comforting, you don’t want to be that kid who forces her friends into the awkward position of choosing between you and your suitemates.

Also, if you don’t confront your suitemates directly, there’s a chance that they could hear about your complaints from one of your friends. Awkward.

Plus, we’re here to answer all of your questions—no need to complicate things by triangulating your problems with your friends.

Be Honest

This is the most important piece of advice that we can give.

You know that there is something wrong with your housing situation, that’s why you came to us.

Don’t try to ignore or minimize the problem and don’t worry about what your roommates will think of your feelings, just make sure you communicate them fully so that your problem can be resolved.

Good luck!

Peace, Love and Great Advice,

Leah and Morgan

Have questions that you want answered by the lovely ladies of The Hoot? Submit your questions to advice@thebrandeishoot.com or at formspring.me/leahandmorgan! They will be answered by Leah Finkelman ’13, Features Editor, and Morgan Gross ’14, Impressions Editor. We’re so excited to hear your questions!