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Brandeis University's Community Newspaper — Waltham, Mass.

Strange but true

Published: February 9, 2007
Section: Arts, Etc.

Bears fan to change name to Peyton Manning after losing bet

Die-hard Chicago Bears fan Scott Wiese has decided to make good on his losing bet on the Bears after their recent Super Bowl loss. By honoring his bet, Wiese will legally change his name to Peyton Manning, the star quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts, the team that handed the Bears the defeat.

Before a crowd of onlookers last Friday night at a bar in Decatur, Illinois, Wiese signed a pledge to change his name were the Bears to lose. The 26 year old Illinois native will now advertise his intentions in several local newspapers before meeting with a judge to legally change his name to that of the Indianapolis quarterback.

“I think I kind of represent all Bears fans,” he said. “Not that I'm saying they're all idiots like me, but I represent their passion because I really care about my team, you know?”

There is no real word on how long Wiese plans to keep the name, but he has implied that it may be contingent on the Bears success in the future.

What you crave, Cupid-style

Legendary greasy burger chain White Castle has recently announced its plans to try and bring romance into its white fortresses. The chain has embarked on a campaign to bring couples to its locales for Valentine's Day across the U.S.

The chain has posted on its website, “Make your Valentines day STEAMY! Take your Valentine to White Castle on Wednesday, February 14 between 5 and 8 p.m. and enjoy hostess seating, candlelit dining and your own server. Reservations are required.” Tables will also be adorned with flowers and other decorations.

White Castle is also offering a “Cupid's Crave Kit”, for those couples too lazy to leave the house. The kit includes eight cheeseburgers, a sack of fries, and two regular soft drinks with a candy tin and magnet photo frame all for twenty dollars.

Another “wardrobe malfunction”?

Prince's Super Bowl half time show did not include any showing of nipples, but many have said that it certainly had objectionable imagery you may have overlooked. During the guitar solo of Prince's hit “Purple Rain”, Prince was projected on a large, beige sheet playing a guitar shaped like his symbol. In the process, many have noticed a very distinct phallic connotation to this part of the presentation.

Several have questioned the fact that the shadow was enlarged, while Craig Ferguson, host of the “Late Late Show” on CBS jokingly declared, ” He was obviously very happy to be there, wasn't he?” In the past, Prince has performed with a guitar that would ejaculate at the climax of “Let's Go Crazy”.

The NFL, the producers of this year's show, have said they have not received any official complaints.

Longlasting lovers

Archaelogists in Italy have found the remains of a couple bured between five and six thousand years ago. What makes this couple interesting is that they are still in each other's arms after all of this time.
The two bodies lie facing and cuddling one another, while archaelogists have guessed that the two were buried at the same time, indicating a rather sudden death.

Leader of the dig Elena Menotti declared, “There has not been a double burial found in the Neolithic period, much less two people hugging — and they really are hugging.”

The identity of the two has not been completely discovered, but it has been asserted that the skeletons are of a man and a woman who died at a young age.