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April Fool: Dershowitz arrested for stalking, harassing

Published: April 1, 2007
Section: News


Alan Dershowitz was arrested for harassment by Waltham Police and Brandeis Public Safety yesterday evening following a month-long investigation. The Harvard Law School professor and author of The Case for Israel and The Best Defense had been harassing student Kevin Montgomery '07, both in person and over email, according to Edward Callahan, Brandeis Director of Public Safety.

[Montgomery] first began reporting harassment prior to [former United States President Jimmy] Carter's visit to Brandeis, stated Callahan. Over time, as reports continued to increase, it became clear that a serious investigation was needed.

The arrest was made after an undercover officer spotted Dershowitz's 2004 Saab 9-5 outside Montgomery's residence, Waltham Police Chief Edward Drew told The Hoot.Montgomery commented that he and Dershowitz shared many heated conversations on the phone, and that Dershowitz had emailed him many times referring to him as a bigot and anti-Semite.

Student Stefan Borst-Censullo '08, who wrote two editorals for The Hoot about Dershowitz's appearances at Brandeis, also noted that he received insulting emails from Dershowitz.Dershowitz emailed me to call me a 'bigot' and a 'holocaust denier' after my first column. He also commented that I should 'get my haircut' and 'shower, commented Borst-Censullo. I figured he would go away, so I never bothered to report it to the police,” said Borst-Censullo. “I'm shocked that he could have been watching me from my window also.

Dershowitz, when interviewed, told the Hoot that “it wasn't me, but a clever ruse staged by the no-good fink Norman Finkelstein, to attack my good name.” However, Asher Tanenbaum '08, who happened to be on the scene, then seemed to assault Dershowitz. After police separated the two, it was revealed that Tanenbaum had pulled a mask off of the intruder, to reveal that the man arrested was actually Norman Finkelstein. Finkelstein was overheard saying by the police that “I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids!”

Montgomery, reportedly said afterward: “Dershowitz is Finkelstein. Finkelstein is Dershowitz. Dershowitz, Finkelstein, Finkelstein, Dershowitz, Finkelstein… oh my God, I kissed a man!” He then proceeded to pour an entire tube of toothpaste into his mouth while throwing his clothing into a burning wastebasket.

*Note: This is part of an April Fool's joke.*