Advertise - Print Edition

Brandeis University's Community Newspaper — Waltham, Mass.

April Fool: Not worth the shirt off their backs

Published: April 1, 2007
Section: Opinions

In her article Chock Full of Latexy Goodness, (March 23rd, 2007) Clarissa Stark writes lights flashed. Unfortunately, lights were not the only things being flashed at the Liquid Latex show. I love boobs. Really, I do. But showing off Grandmas saggy Double Ds is just not something to be proud of. Yeah sure, there were a couple of nice sets up there, but even the black and white pictures in last weeks edition of The Hoot makes it clear that for the most part, the twins should have stayed home.

Making the situation more embarrassing was spotting my Orgo professor sitting three seats down from memaybe it wouldnt have been so bad if he hadnt spotted me first. I guess orgos like orgies? In any event, the event had other serious flaws as well. For example, at one point Little Miss Sunshine came on stage and started doin her thing. She should have stuck with her namesake…I didnt need anything involving where the sun dont shineand based on what I saw, nothing else will be rising in the morning there either. In another instance, we had a sensation presentation by the Spice Girls, with taste so good the Brandeis meal offerings look distinguished in comparison.

Its a pity when girls such as these, future lawyers, doctors and professors, choose to take the low road and expose themselves in a display as scenic as an unflushed toilet. Best leave the exhibitionism to the professionals, ladies.

In no means do I take offense to the concept of Liquid Latex. The five bucks I paid to get in the door was a welcome discount compared to the 70 bucks I usually pay to get into the joints in town. But I guess that there is truth to the expression you get what you pay for. I look forward to another free issue of Romp in the near future.

*Note: This is part of an April Fool's joke.*