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Parties are breeding grounds for buffoonery

Published: September 7, 2007
Section: Opinions


This Saturday was the first real weekend night for numerous Brandeis students, and to celebrate this occasion, Dartmouth Street, Charles Street, and many other off-campus locations were abuzz with activity. I headed to one of these occasions, fully expecting what to see. As I heard the loud music, I was lured to the area like a sailor to a sirens song. Once I got inside the party, I was confronted with loud music, obnoxious drunk people, and an environment that made my glasses fog over. The place was crowded and people couldnt even move ten feet without making it a major expedition. Many were shouting to understand each other over the music, others were dancing in place, and still more tried in vain to play a congested game of Beer Pong. As I stood and gazed at the scene I thought to myself: why do I do it? Parties are really horrible affairs, which any reasonable person would avoid. There are so many factors about parties that make me wonder why I come back to them week after week.

First, the environment of a party might be a scene described in Dantes Inferno. Most are hot, cramped, sweaty affairs that a person with any sense would try to avoid. Furthermore, the loud music and dangerous activity would make most people cringe. I know of individuals who have had things fall on them at parties, and still others that have come in the middle of fights. But nothing can quite compare to the annoyance of having to squeeze by every step and negotiate even the slightest motion. Furthermore, the smell is almost always of beer and possibly some type of bodily fluid coupled with an undertone of body odor. This leaves one nauseated and disgusted. In addition, the atmosphere is one of insecurity and caution as one avoids the actions of drunkards or worse. The environment of a party is unattractive at best, dangerous at worst, and truly creates an uninviting atmosphere.

I am a person who doesnt drink. With the exception of maybe three times, I hardly ever consumed alcohol in college. It seems to me that many people go to parties to drink. This in and of itself creates an environment that I find disagreeable. It has always baffled me that people enjoy themselves as they lose control of their bodies, that they somehow find enjoyment by acting dishonest, stupid, and just plain shameful. Alcohol not only creates the atmosphere of sickness, danger and discomfort, but also leads to a dishonest culture. It seems to me that our society wrongfully allows people to get away with things while drunk that they would be ridiculed for while sober. This can include taking advantage of females, doing ridiculous acts, and more. I find this practice dishonorable and nonsensical. How can one be alleviated of their obligations by voluntarily undergoing an activity, which may leave them incapable in the first place? Most people use alcohol as a crutch to initiate certain behaviors, which is both pathetic and wrong. But nevertheless, it is the engine of a party and drives the behavior of buffoonery.

Most people are willing to bear the intolerable atmosphere and get squeezed into the sardine can from hell because they claim that their chances of hooking up are higher. Id like to take a stab at this whole undercurrent of the party scene. Of course people may want to attend these events to meet people, but any reason would indicate that these are the least desirable occasions to associate in a non-Platonic matter. First, alcohol not only impairs judgment but may lead to regretful and sometimes dangerous situations. Also, parties may not be the best venue to meet the best people to associate with. In addition, if one is so craven as to only solicit others under the influence, and at these places, then I call them cowards! Dont use the crutch and god I wish that everyone went to the Can I kiss you? event as part of this years orientation!

Each weekend many are drawn to the loud music and distinct aura of parties. But really, these events are crowded, dirty, muggy and downright uncomfortable affairs. Furthermore, the alcohol culture is not only nonsensical but also sometimes unethical and wrong. And if one uses these occasions as a hook-up scene then I suggest you cast your line elsewhere;

any reason would tell you that these occasions are the least desirable locations to do so. I hope that next Saturday night, while youre all pregaming, youll take a step back and give a deep thought about the event youre about to attend. And if you see this columnist around Dartmouth Street, talk about the article to me;

just remember to shout loud enough to be heard over the music.