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Brandeis University's Community Newspaper — Waltham, Mass.

They might not let them help you

Published: September 7, 2007
Section: Opinions

Together, they form Voltron!

Ya dig?

Student Government Treasurer Choon Woo Ha has appointed six students to Office of the Treasurer Positions. He appointed Max Wallach, the current F-Board chair and long-time country singer, Assistant Treasurer;

Adonis Watkins, the Phantom of the Opera, to Assistant Treasurer;

Deborah the herbavore Laufer to Assistant Treasurer;

Justin Citizen Kang to Assistant Treasurer;

Dina Dina Bobina Gankin as Executive Assistant;

and lastly, Jahfree Sex Pistol Duncan as special Counsellor to the Treasurer. With their powers combined, Choon Woo is Captain Planet! As a side note, they are all qualified for the work Choon Woo chose for them to do, just thought you might care.

Why does Choon Woo need assistants, anyway? The answer is simple: he has got too much work to do. The solution to this problem: the Treasurer should have his own personal A-Team.

However, as it turns out, there is a clause somewhere in the Constitution or the By-Laws (who reads that, really?) stating that the Senate must confirm anyone the Treasurer appoints to perform administrative tasks. There should be a clause that says the Senate will not hinder the Office of the Treasurers ability to function effectively. It is you and I, members of the Student Body, who will suffer if the Senate does not confirm Choon Woos Legion of Super Heroes.

Lets get the X-Men confirmed by the Senate quickly. With Early Marathon right around the bend, the effing F-Board will be allocating hundreds of dollars in SAF money in order to help clubs add to the overall quality of campus life. Without the proper staff and amount of time necessary to track the up-and-coming financial transactions of the 250+ registered clubs lobbying for money, there will be backlogs of paperwork in the Office of the Treasury, slowing down everything.

Instead of asking why he needs assistants, why not ask why no one even ran against him for the position of Treasurer in last years elections? Not only is Choon Woo trying to create a system in which the Student Bodys money is handled properly but one in which the role of Treasurer is manageable as well. Hopefully, this system of support will be there for years to come. Master Choon Woo once said that If something sucks, then you must change it. It current system sucks. I actually invented that quote –Im trying to prove a point, here. Hey! Back off! President Bush does it all the time and Iraqis love him for it.

One more statement for this week: if the Senate does not confirm the help that Choon Woo has found for himself, the entire Brandeis Student Body, and Future Treasurers as his system will make the job more manageable then it is because they are acting on ego-driven platforms because Choon Woo did not consult with them first. I suppose he thought efficiency was more important.