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Brandeis University's Community Newspaper — Waltham, Mass.

Sexiled: My own Plan B

Published: October 12, 2007
Section: Opinions

These are the confessions of a teenage sex addict. Addict might be too strong a word;

then again, it might not be. I am doing something not so revolutionary in its definition, but in its practice, it just might rock your world or your bed.

Why should you trust me? How do you know I know what I know (if you followed that sentence at all)? Here are some facts about me: I was a virgin until 19. Then I lost it in all the wrong ways. I didnt want to fall to pressure from a man, so I asked first before he could ask me. I told him to grab a condomthe first and last time I ever used one because, well, I make mistakes. I dont regret that it happened, but I regret how it happened. I imagine many of you feel the same way. If not, well, it sucks, just so you know.

Ive been sexually assaulted twice to my knowledge. I have had terrible, bad, mildly bad, disappointing, somewhat alright, mediocre, stressful, unwanted, good, and exceptional sexual encounters whether or not there was sex in the conventional sense. I had a one night stand that I thought meant love. Love doesnt leave at three a.m.

Instead of continuing this sexual check list, Ill just tell you a story and you can either take it or leave it: When I was eighteen, I dated my best friends older brother. He called me beautiful a little more often than he called himself that, so I thought we were in love. He played me songs about other women on the guitar, respected my boundaries although they seemed to shift depending on his horniness told me how much he liked me and wanted to be with me almost as much as the other women hed dated. I left for college knowing wed be together. A week later he still hadnt called me and I found out he moved to Chicago to date and marry my other best friend Chelsey. Every last one of my friends knew about it months before I did. Heres what I learned: Dont leave town.

So here is my new pact with myself, my very own Plan B no more sex until Im in love. Lets see how long that lasts. My vibrator is keeping me company for now, and what wonderfully orgasmic company it is. And I dont even have to fake it.