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Brandeis University's Community Newspaper — Waltham, Mass.

Futile Ramblings: Gift ideas for Valentine’s Day

Published: February 8, 2008
Section: Opinions

From a personal standpoint, I am very excited that Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, as it is one of my three favorite days of the year, along with Celtics opening night and Christmas Eve. While I am eager for V-Day to arrive, I am sure most of you guys out there are beginning to panic about trying to find that special someone the perfect Valentine’s Day gift. Some of you are probably even attempting to fabricate excuses so that you can avoid celebrating this endearing holiday. You are probably still exhausted from shopping during the holiday season and are really dreading the arrival of February the 14th. While the traditional flowers and chocolate is always appreciated by the lady populace, what they really want on Valentine’s Day is something a little more original and sentimental. Jewelry is always a safe bet as well but buying a necklace that is on sale at Filene’s is a bit of a cop out if you ask me. This is why I suggest trying to think of an idea that no other guy has ever done for that special lady that you are trying to impress. For instance, last year I decided to dress up as cupid, red spandex and all, and I shot my crush with a nerf bow and arrow while she was taking notes in her biology class. Of course if you are going to choose to go down this path, you might want to practice your shooting abilities beforehand because I hit her in the eye and ruptured her cornea. Needless to say, things didn’t exactly work out between us.

Another original idea that I would highly recommend to all of you guys out there who are lacking in the imagination department, is creating a personalized music video. This is something that I did two years ago and it was a tremendous success. If you are at all like me and have trouble hitting those high notes on cue, then you can consider lip-syncing, Ashley Simpson style. Choose a song that is meaningful to your relationship and if you have some extra dough lying around, I would be more than happy to be your choreographer.

If neither of these ideas sound particularly appealing to you, then I suggest downloading some Barry White songs on your Limewire account and making dinner for your lady. Turn the lights down real low, grab a bottle of red wine and head over to The Chateau and order some take-out. Then proceed to tell your lady that you cooked for her, nothing pleases a lady more than when her man cooks for her and she will never know that you just ordered pick-up from down the street. I promise.

I wish all of you men out there the best of luck with your Valentines Day ideas. Unfortunately for me, I have class until 9:30 at night on Valentine’s Day so I won’t be able to commemorate my favorite day of the year appropriately. Instead of trying to force something that will be unmemorable, which in essence would be insulting St. Valentine himself, I notified my girlfriend that if things are meant to be then we will still be together next year and we can celebrate the holiday properly then. No, but in all seriousness, Valentine’s Day really is one of my three favorite days of the year…