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The ever-present question, for men and women alike, is what to do with the hair down there. I’d love to be able to say that there’s a right answer, but the truth is, there isn’t. It’s mostly about what your personal preferences are, and perhaps your partner’s preferences.

During a conversation with some guy friends the other day, I said I didn’t think women should have to shave or wax, but that they should probably keep the garden trim. The guys both said they agreed, it was most important that it was neat down there.

Both did say however that the perineum (also called the grundle or t’aint, often on a man), and armpits should always be clean. Both also said that while they wouldn’t request a girl to be completely clean down there, it would certainly be their preference. Women have what seem like innumerable options when it comes to grooming. Do we trim, wax or shave? Do we keep some, all or none? How much exactly is none? Did you know that a real Brazilian wax does not actually leave you bare? If you shaved in high school, should you start waxing in college? Or what if you have a trusted waxer at home, but now you’re not sure where to go?

Men have it easier. Three options come to mind–do nothing, trim or shave. Few men would be interested in waxing, or in the kinds of shapes that women sometimes go for.  My personal preference is that men trim, but don’t shave. The bald, elf-like look of naked male genitalia, and the feeling that goes along with it, is really unattractive to me.

However, I know women who like the look, as well as women who like the look, and feel, of a full bush on a guy, which is another option I’m not a fan of. Who wants to be making a trip down south, only to be greeted by a mouthful of hair?

Personally, I cannot go much longer than five weeks without getting a bikini wax, whether or not I am dating someone. I’ve been getting waxes every four to five weeks since 10th grade, when I started going with a group of girls during our lunch period. We started going together because we were too nervous to go alone. It was fun, and made what was actually a chore rather enjoyable.

At the beginning we had no idea what we were doing, or what the difference was between a good or bad wax. If it was too hot, we thought that was just the way it was supposed to be. During that first year or two, we all had our fair share of pain and embarrassment, but we were all addicted by the end of junior year. Now, as a junior in college, I still feel that way. Nothing is better than that first week after a wax, when you’re completely clean and comfortable. The truth, however, is that no one can tell you exactly what is right for you, and you shouldn’t let anyone.