Advertise - Print Edition

Brandeis University's Community Newspaper — Waltham, Mass.

Sexcapades: Stuck in a dry spell? Get yourself wet!

Published: November 19, 2010
Section: Opinions

Ever had a dry spell? Don’t even try to pretend you haven’t, because we all have. For some people, just a few weeks counts, when for others, it’s not until a couple of months have gone by that they really begin to feel it. Even how we describe dry spells differs—does it mean you’ve had no physical interaction with another person, or does it mean you haven’t had sex? And once we understand that everyone goes through it, how do we deal with it?

Some people take matters into their own hands, claiming that they are choosing to be celibate, focusing on other aspects of their lives. By doing this, they feel as though the dry spell is not something that is happening to them, but rather something they are imposing on themselves for sexual, social or academic reasons. Additionally, viewing a dry spell as self-imposed allows for a sense of control and instills the idea that it can be ended at any time, when they decide.

The key to dealing with a dry spell is, of course, understanding that release at least does not require another person. Obviously, masturbation does not feel the same as sex, and for many, does not quite fill the void, but it can prevent the sort of explosions that can occur from sexual frustration.

As an added bonus, all that alone time can really give you the opportunity to explore your own body and figure out what it is you want and need. This way, when the dry spell does come to an end, you can enjoy yourself even more.

So how do we go about ending these torturous periods?

Again, everyone has their own way, some better than others. Some people call exes or old screw buddies, in an attempt to just get laid. By calling people they used to sleep with, there is less risk of bad sex or awkwardness than with someone new, although there is still equal chance of regret later.

Some people have someone they always call, the name in their little black book who they can rely on. Others wait until they receive an invitation or come-on from someone new, who may not be the ideal person or hook-up, but who is needed to break the spell. It is often true that all that is needed to end a dry spell is that first hook-up in order for life to return to normal. That initial hook-up reminds the person that they are indeed sexy and that people want them. These people, in effect take one for the team, knowing that better things will come their way following that first hook-up.

Commonly, because people feel a lack of control over the situation, they just sit and wait. To me, this seems to me to be the worst way to deal with it. Rather than grabbing life by the horns, they feel that someone or something will happen to change their luck. The only way to ensure that a dry spell comes to an end is to put yourself out there and make things happen.

As I’ve discussed before, there are obvious difficulties in seeking a sexual partner at Brandeis. The sorts of normal social behaviors that we expect in the outside world cannot be counted on here. There is no guarantee that a guy will make a move, or even ask you out, whether or not they’ve shown interest. Thus, it is the responsibility of every student here to make the most they can for themselves. If you’re interested in someone, let them know and ask them out, because there’s no way to be sure they will ask you. Even if you get rejected, it’s better than not even trying. Like applying for colleges or jobs, not all of your applications will get a positive response, but some will, and unless you put yourself out there, you won’t get any offers. The dry spell seems to be a common occurrence here, but by taking matters into your own hands, you can both deal with it better, and potentially make it end faster.