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Brandeis University's Community Newspaper — Waltham, Mass.

March 2009 Issue

The Pakistan Disaster

I wake up every morning asking myself the same question: how far can the bottom go in rock bottom? No, I am not referring to the current economic crisis that has plagued the United States and markets around the world in the last few months. I am referring to the growing crisis in my home […]


Borde-nough: Students need a seat and a vote

Imagine a university. Now, step out of the shoes of one of the top university administrators, put on your administrator pajamas, and drift off to sleep. Dream administrator dreams. Dream that the university is bureaucrat paradise. What are you dreaming about? Origami palm trees made of discarded manila folders? Long, soft beaches of pencil sharpenings […]


Save my job, please don’t close the Science Library

In a turn of events surprising no one but herself, my friend Sara got into law school. She is going all the way to New York, so I am sad because I am codependent. On the bright side though, she is going to be a lawyer, so I can stop worrying about someone finding the […]


Book of Matthew: Finally, some science: Funding stem cell research

On Monday, an important Bush-era restriction came to a timely end at the hands of President Obama. Obama signed an executive order ending the restrictions on federal funding for embryonic stem cell research, which had originally been put into place by President Bush on Aug. 9, 2001. This is a huge win for Americans who […]


Shopping for Truth: A problem with realists, don’t discourage people

I’ve always had a problem with realists. It’s not exactly that I live in a bubble of denial; it’s just that I prefer to see the bright side of most situations. It’s not that realism is a bad thing. There are, after all, many times when you really need someone to just give you a […]


One Tall Voice: Religion not so bad after all

I would like to warn my readers right at the onset, that this article is a little different from the previous pieces I have published in The Hoot. Oftentimes, I relate my somewhat controversial opinions in this column, and stand by them adamantly. Here, however, I am going to convey the sentiments that I once […]


Brandeis comedians take smarts to the stage

Interview with Myq Kaplan Interview with MC Mr. Napkins Neither Myq Kaplan ’00 nor Zach Sherwin ’02 thought they’d pursue stand-up comedy after graduation. Kaplan studied philosophy, psychology, math, and linguistics, while Sherwin tackled politics and legal studies. To the outside eye, each seemed to be following the typical Brandeis career path. Kaplan jumped on […]


You want me to talk about my down there?

Well, everybody, they’re back. No, I’m not talking about the in-laws or those pesky midterms that I keep hearing everyone moaning about around this time of the semester. What I am referring to, however, are vaginas. Yes, vaginas. Or, rather, “The Vagina Monologues”, Eve Ensler’s theater piece based on interviews she conducted with a number […]


Bernstein festival of the arts sneak preview

For many students working in creative arts departments at Brandeis, the Leonard Bernstein Festival of the Creative Arts acts as the culminating event of a year’s worth of hard work and imaginative discovery. Yet the intense and varied outpouring of youthful creative energy serves not only as a showcase for talented artists, but enriches the […]


The perils of watching “Watchmen”

The most difficult part about watching “Watchmen” was facing expectations. Sitting down to a film that one has already read or seen in another form usually causes the viewer to compare that work to its other incarnations. From the moment the movie was announced on the opening weekend, fanboys everywhere were wetting their pants in […]