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Brandeis University's Community Newspaper — Waltham, Mass.

BERKENWALD: Why I heart Reslife

Published: March 18, 2005
Section: Opinions

Every year I wait in excitement for that letter in my mailbox– the one that gives me a number that tells me where I live next year. This year, I couldnt be happier to find that my number was none other than 1985! Thats the year I was born! Isnt Reslife clever?
When March 15th finally came, I was lucky enough to participate in the housing lottery for the second time. This time was much more exciting than the first because housing was not guarenteed. I dont know about you, but I love suspense in my life. Those tingles you get when you know you have a pretty substantial chance of being homeless … its almost sexual, in a way.

Once I was at the housing lottery, waiting to be pulled into a Village double with my lovely roommate, (1362 a good number, but nowhere as cool as 1985) I was pleasantly surprised to find that all of the Village doubles had been taken, and the pull-ins were also gone. How exciting!

The tension was really strong then to use a beaten-to-death clich, it was so thick I could have cut it with a knife! Some people there seemed very upset. But I dont know how they could be when the friendly, perky, people wearing yellow Viva Reslife shirts were playing trivia games with us! I guess some people might consider a friendly game of trivia to pass the time somewhat of a cruel and unusal mockery of our sufferring, but those people just dont know how to have a good time.

The best part was when they called my roommates number. We were led through a maze of signing forms (my FAVORITE!) and I.D. checks (because they really give a damn who we are) and led into Levin Ballroom. Well, I never really made it into the ballroom, but thats alright. Im not one for dancing anyway.

Once I was in the torture chamber waiting room, I learned that the only rooms left were singles. I was so excited that my roommate would get a single in the Village! What a great opporitunity to live in a brand new dorm that is (horrendously) overpriced and completely spacially inefficient! Im so proud of my school for choosing a pretty building that houses less people rather than a less pretty building that could have really made a difference in solving this housing crisis. I know I always value looks above anything else, and Im glad to see that my school agrees.

Needless to say, there was no housing left by my magical number. But really, I thank Reslife for the opporitunity to try a new way of life homelessness. Being from my priveleged background (meaning I have the privelege of paying $40,000 to attend school that cant even give me a place to sleep) I would never have had the opportunity to see how the other half lives if it wasnt for Reslife.

My plans for next year are really exciting. In my spare time, I have been shopping for cardboard boxes. I found a very nice refrigerator box, that I can actually lay down in, on some random street corner. Everyone is going to be jealous. I have also been keeping an eye out for brightly colored rags to decorate with, and I have been stocking up on Justice back issues to stuff underneath my clothes to keep warm in the winter. (Thats all theyre really good for anyway)

Frankly, I couldnt be happier. I am writing this article in hopes that Reslife, and other members of the fine administration here at Brandeis University will read it and hear what I am saying. To put it plainly, I am telling you how happy we all are with our current housing situation. And I am telling you how happy we will all be if it does not change drastically next year. Are you hearing me Jehuda? Viva Reslife.