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Brandeis University's Community Newspaper — Waltham, Mass.

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January 2006 Issue

Contact your local poison control center immediately

As Brandeis Universitys go-to-guy for questions concerning serious life-altering issues, such as, Why does the university insist on stocking the bathrooms with toilet paper so thin that it disintegrates at the flatulence of a bacterium and you have to fold it in half in excess of 84 times before attempting use?, the future of peoples psychiatric health lays squarely at my fingertips. Some days I get so many questions that I dont even have time to copy my lab report from someone else seven minutes before its due.


To have a reputation

I was watching Simpsons reruns on an average Friday afternoon when I got an IM from my old friend Kevin Montgomery (youve probably heard of himhes the goy.) Kevin asked me if I had seen The Hoot, and being the terrible columnist I am, I replied, Nope. He informed me that we were both in Michael Sitzmans Horseradish!
Whaaaaa???


The Nashim issue, and a chemistry story

I looked at my article and the rest of the Opinions section of last weeks Hoot. What did I find? The other articles were controversial and were written to open up dialogue amongst students regarding such situations as interreligious relations on campus as well as the Nashim Talent Show controversy. Sitting at my laptop to write this article, I have two options. I have a strong opinion regarding the Nashim issue, and I also have a story on Chemistry brewing in my head. The casual reader is now screaming in his or her head, You numbskull! As you read this article, theres a decent shot you would prefer to read something that would get your blood flowing, something to either (1) draw your ire or (2) silently applaud the points I make.


Block the bomb

The Islamic Republic of Iran poses a grave threat to the entire world, and it is the responsibility of concerned Americans to prevent the rogue nation from acquiring nuclear weapons.


What to do with Abramoff’s $50 donation

One of the largest stories in the news nowadays is about Jack Abramoff, the currently embattled ex-Washington-lobbyist. In a plea bargain, Abramoff agreed to work with the Justice Department for a more lenient sentencing. However to most people this reads: hes going to give the Justice department a black list of people he bribed. Needless to say, this black list could be very damaging to any politicians career, much less a respected educational institution. These politicians are quickly gathering up all the money they got from Abromoff and donating it to non-profits and other generally good causes.


Off-campus dining

Brandeis University is plagued by a monopolistic, sub-par cafeteria system that constrains the choices of its students and staff under the guise of being healthy. Luckily, Waltham is home to a plethora of high-quality ethnic restaurants that most college towns could only dream of. However, the Brandeis University administration seems unable to successfully incorporate Walthams rich restaurants into the campus community. By ignoring Walthams assets and failing to market the strengths of the surrounding community, the University and its students are negatively impacted.
Many other colleges offer an off-campus meal plan, which either compliments or replaces the traditional meal-plan that Brandeis students are used to having. For example, students at UMASS-Amherst can elect to have part or their entire meal-plan replaced by an off-campus meal plan. Students can swipe their meal cards at many of the restaurants in the surrounding area and have $6.15 of every meal paid for, with the remaining balance paid for by cash or credit card, which has resulted in an explosion of cheap, quality eateries in the surrounding towns.


Editorial: Student input a must for new policy

This week we have seen instances where the University administration allegedly did not consider the input of undergraduates before making changes in how the school functions. Between the new alcohol policy for students and the sudden change in the senior speaker selection process, its enough to make one inquire if the administration is interested in what students have to say.


Three directed writing classes

The two weeks in the beginning of the semester are the time that each of us finalizes our schedules. We add, drop, and swap classes, rearranging them in any way we can to maximize the amount of sleep and free time and minimize the amount of work while filling the necessary requirements. This time is stressful enough all on its own, as our choices will determine the rest of our semester and even affect the rest of our college careers (whether we fill our major requirements, whether we graduate early, on time, or late, etc). Now imagine being unable to set your schedule. That is the experience I have been having since coming back to Brandeis last week.


Letter to the Editor: Elementary school evacuated

To the editor:
Hi. I just read the article about the bomb threat and I am glad it brought up things that I had been wondering about. I am a CA who was told that everything was closed. I am also the GM of WBRS. I learned that people from the Campus Center had been kicked out, but when I called the station people were still there and they had no idea what was going on. When I sent a letter to the staff canceling shows for the day other students e-mailed me back not knowing of the lock down, that I had been informed about, and had just had dinner in Usdan.


Stein given warning from Waltham Liquor Comm.

The universitys Stein restaurant received a warning from the Waltham Liquor Commission at a hearing Tuesday after failing a recent compliance check, according to Waltham police.