Public Safety warns of rising theft in area

The department of Public Safety sent out a theft alert e-mail to the Brandeis community on Monday, after receiving an update from the Waltham Police Department.

April Fool: Fight envelopes Reitman Hall

Three first-year students were detained by Brandeis Police Tuesday evening March 27 after a fight broke out on the third floor of Reitman Hall in the North Residence Quad. The names of the involved parties have not been released by Brandeis Police officials. The violence began after one girl requested that the inhabitants of a neighboring room lower the volume of their music. According to witnesses, the first interaction occurred without incident, but hostility occurred after music could still be heard 20 minutes later.

April Fool: Brandeis mascot to be replaced

Ollie the Owl, Brandeis long-time mascot, will be replaced after this semester, University President Jehuda Reinharz announced Tuesday. This comes after a student poll asking whether or not the current mascot adequately represented the schools ideals.

April Fool: Senate passes resolution not to congratulate basketball teams

This past Sunday, the Student Union Senate passed by unanimous consent, a resolution not to congratulate neither the Men's nor Women's Varsity Basketball teams on their successes this season, during which both teams advanced to the NCAA tournament, but failed to make it out of the second round.

April Fool: News Briefs

The missing funds from the Vagina Club were found, Director of Communications Brian Paternostro '07 told The Hoot, in an unnamed Senator's bank account. Much of the funds, said Paternostro, were spent by the student in an off-campus party. Union Judiciary has been assigned to the case. The Film Studies department will now offer courses […]

Letter to the Editor (April Fool): Brandeis, have you no shame?

The performance of Liquid Latex last week proved to be quite bothersome to me. In a year full of offensive nudity, masturbation, and general debauchery, I would like to take the time to condemn the universitys actions for allowing this event to continue. I was personally offended to see girls and boys in grotesque costumes, masquerading at Brandeis University as if they were a part of a fashion show. Brandeis students have long been criticized for their ugliness, and I cannot, and will not, stand for their lack of clothing. I would like to also affirm that I was willing to give millions upon millions of dollars to this trouble ridden university, but following these grotesque events, I am afraid that I am no longer able to do so.

Letter to the Editor (April Fool): Stop your nonsense, we don’t give a Hoot!

To the Editor,

Look, we just don't give a Hoot! Stop all this news nonsense. No one really cares about what's going on on campus. Everyone at Brandeis puts the pathetic in apathetic. JUST STOP. Carter at Brandeis? He's OLD! Clubs faking receipts? Booooriiiing. Look, NO ONE CARES. Oh, you may think someone cares.

Editorial (April Fool): April Fool’s issue? Don’t make us laugh

Louis D. Brandeis spoke of truth, even unto its innermost parts. Which is why perhaps he would look with disgust upon his newspaper namesake, The Justice, for its recent April Fools issue. The Justice has had a long tradition of misquotes, inaccurate reporting, and misleading its readers, but this egregious disregard for the truth is simply irresponsible. Why would a campus newspaper seek to mislead its students? For a laugh? For a thrill? For a lightening of their journalistic burden?

April Fool: Not worth the shirt off their backs

In her article Chock Full of Latexy Goodness, (March 23rd, 2007) Clarissa Stark writes lights flashed. Unfortunately, lights were not the only things being flashed at the Liquid Latex show. I love boobs. Really, I do. But showing off Grandmas saggy Double Ds is just not something to be proud of. Yeah sure, there were a couple of nice sets up there, but even the black and white pictures in last weeks edition of The Hoot makes it clear that for the most part, the twins should have stayed home.

Letter to the Editor (April Fool): Problem looms large on Brandeis campus

To the editor,

I would like to take a stand against a certain individual named Jordan Rothman. While he is a contributor to many clubs, I feel that his nasty demeanor warrants the attention of your publication as it did in the other Brandeis publication, The Justice, this past semester.