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October 2005 Issue

Diabetic baboons and human reproduction

Somebody stopped me in Sherman the other day. (No, not THAT day. The OTHER one.) He asked me the following question. Is it better to ask out a girl while lying on her bed without any clothing, or while lying on her bed without any clothing while covered in rose petals? Somebody actually asked me this question, to which I responded with the obvious answer, which is that if you ask out a girl using either of those two methods, youll definitely end up on a lovely date, though it will probably be with a large hairy-backed man in a prison bathroom.


101 Reasons For Pho

Okay, so its not really 101 reasons. Its actually 1.01. Because thats how much your entire meal will cost. (Beat that, Usdan). Okay, so maybe I exaggerated a little. But its not too far off the mark.


Fool for Love: a powerful start to the UTCs fall season

Last weekend, the Undergraduate Theater Collectives fall season got underway with the Brandeis Players production of Sam Shepards Fool for Love, directed by David Klasko.


Coheed & Cambrias Musical Madness

Its official: geek is the new chic. If the over-abundance of Napoleon Dynamite paraphernalia isnt enough to convince you of this, then certainly the widening popularity of bands like Death Cab for Cutie and Coheed & Cambria will change your mind. With both bands riding high on a sudden wave of geek-culture popularity, and the sudden fame that appeared in both bands worlds, both groups have chosen the perfect time to capitalize on their recent newfound success. Yet, it is Coheed that manages to become even more innovative and ingenious on their recent release, Good Apollo Im Burning Star IV, Volume 1: From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness.


Have you ever heard a Banshee shriek?

If you had told me a couple years ago that I would be playing ultimate frisbee when I got to college, I would have told you that you were crazy. Everybody knows that ultimate frisbee isnt really a sport. Ive been on soccer, basketball, softball, and volleyball teams for as long as I can remember. Those are real sports, requiring skill, stamina, and accuracy. Theres strategy in those sports. Frisbee doesnt have any of that. When I thought of frisbee, I saw images of people casually tossing a disc around in the park.
Even now Im not so sure how I ended up on the team. I remember walking around with my friend Keren during the Activities Fair trying to figure out what to join. As we were looking at the different clubs we came across Katie, who was standing behind the Banshee Ultimate Frisbee table telling us we should sign up because she got a dollar for every name on the list. Keren suggested we both sign up and try it out together;

her Orientation Leader was on the guys Tron team and said it was fun. When it came time for the first practice she couldnt make it and she said I should go and tell her what its like. Now its nearly two months later;

shes never stepped foot on the field and I am still on the team.


Rankings: Recognizing the best students

This past spring, Newsweek released its 2005 rankings of American public high schools. My alma mater, Gateway Senior HS, did not crack Newsweek.coms list of the top 1,042 public schools. While criticizing ones own school district may be tempting, I question the ranking system rather than my schools academics.


Editorial

To the Editor:
Kevin Montgomery is absolutely correct in his contention that genocide has political and economic dimensions. However, he would be completely incorrect to argue that STAND on the national and local level has failed to understand and respond to the economics of genocide. Specifically, STAND has openly advocated that schools pursue divestment campaigns that seek to remove university endowment holdings from companies doing business in Sudan. And before Mr. Montgomery begins to criticize these campaigns, he would be wise to study the case of Sudanese divestment in 2001.


iBreast

A few days ago, a friend directed me to an article entitled Musical Breast Implants on www.ananova.com. Now, I have to admit I wasnt too keen on the idea of having an mp3 player implanted in my breasts. First of all, that means surgery. On my breasts. OUCH. I feel like surgery should be one of those things people avoid, unless, of course, they need it to survive. And other than being musically challenged, my breasts are really not in need of enhancement.


Friday night as seen through eyes of a male American college student.

When I finished reading In the Eye of the Typical College Guy, It All Boils Down to Sex in The Justice, I was a bit disturbed and very confused. I wasnt sure what part bothered me the most: That it depicted women (or shall I say females, as theyre so respectfully referred to in the article) as mindless objects that exist for the sole purpose of giving men something to hunt for, the awful blanket judgment of college guys, or the omission of gay, bisexual, or transgender people, who fit into neither of the pieces absurd black and white categories. What was a piece with such an archaic, flawed, and offensive view of gender roles doing in a Brandeis newspaper? At first I thought it was written as a joke, some sort of blatant satire that had flown completely over my head. I read it again. Nothing. No hint of sarcasm, no ironic ending, nothing remotely funny. Just a bunch of stereotypical mumbo jumbo all rolled into one very vague and unoriginal article.


Yellow Bikes for Deis

Approximately fourteen years ago the Cuban government was faced with a transportation crisis: They had lost 80% of their oil supply with the collapse of the Soviet-bloc. Castro saw bicycles as the solution and promptly ordered over one million bikes from China. The program became a success overnight;

Havanas streets quickly became flooded with bikes, the health of the island improved dramatically, and Cuba escaped what could have been an economic collapse. While the situation today in America is not as dire was it was in Cuba years ago, the United States is faced with what is being called a gas crisis thanks to a heavy reliance on polluting vehicles for transportation. Brandeis should adopt about a bike program that will save the school money, improve the environment, strengthen the Brandeis community, and appease the criticisms from the student body regarding the long walk across campus.